Mary Kate, Ashley & Windel

I have always agreed with the statement that I dress pretty much like Mary Kate & Ashley; they are my fashion mentors. I love everything about their wardrobe. Everything is so effortlessly oversized.
But being that my wardrobe has always been dictated by what my parents would buy for me and what I could afford I never really got a chance to explore and find out what my style is. Yes, I still love the whole hobo-boho vibe that the Olsen twins pull off. But while living alone for a bit I realized that the way I dress myself in my mind is not the way I dress myself in real life.
First of all I don't wear the appropriate colors to pull off the boho thing. My go to colors are: black, every shade of gray, olive green and brown. I guess those are the earth tones or something. (I should probably do a quiz to figure out what goes with my skin tone.) I'm also kind of obsessed with shiny things. Not shiny shirts but shiny accessories on them,like studs and glitter.
Secondly, I realized that I don't really like to wear baggy on baggy on saggy clothes. If I'm wearing skinny jeans I'll throw on a baggy Bill Cosby sweater and if I'm wearing a bottom that's not skin tight then I will wear my most fitting top. I don't want to walk around looking like a blob with arms.
I think it's going to take time for me to figure out how I would classify my style. I think it's mostly based off of the music I'm listening to at the moment. Adele is flowy and Drake is tight.

Hashtag I shop for myself!!!

I Got that ILLNANA (;

What if everyone was blind to beauty? Too much to handle? That's what I guessed. I wanna know what life would be like if we couldn't recognize a person's physical beauty. Guys who are handsome wouldn't be obsessed with their every reflection as for girls which almost makes the "game" of courting leveled on a fair playing field (unless you have money to blow). Wealth will never get old, so I know we can never live perfectly, but vanity is such a huge contribution to a twisted society and it's absence could change the world ... or just make life bearable for preteens, teens, young adults, and even grown ass adults. That's an obvious life changer for me because all I've ever wanted was a guy to approach me because I look INTERESTING and he wants to know who that girl is, not "oh man she's bad! I gotta get that!" because I'm pretty... sometimes I damn my beauty... and then I don't because I see me and then other people and like my face better (not being rude, just honest). It matters to me because I'm the type of girl who puts intelligence, inner radiance, and maturity over looks. Don't get me wrong though! I was raised in a brainwashed society so no matter how wrong I think romantic movies are because they falsely advertise love and how easy it is to find it in such a big ass world, some of me still feels some joy for the hopes of finding "easy love". I suppose if it's too easy or too cheap ... it's a NO-NO. And to end this lovely piece, I say FUCK THE MAN.

الحب الكبير,
honey bee

Lady Windel

I want to be courted. I want a guy to fall madly in love with all the things that others don't see. Like how my eyes are darker than the night itself. Or how I have a retarded dimple on my right cheek. Or how my lisp makes all my S's sound funny. Not because I give him that good poonani or because I put the magic in his magic stick. I want a guy who doesn't mind talking about stupid stuff because he knows that life itself is stupid. Someone who I can watch the clouds float by with and ponder what it must feel like to be water. Water that can fly. I want to fill my message box up with modern day letters explaining how crazy it makes me that he isn't next to me or how crazy it makes me when he looks at me. I want someone who makes me crazy! Crazy about everything! Crazy about smiles and little twinkles in his eyes. Crazy about moons because possibly he's staring at it too. I want first base to be him holding my hands. And second to be a kiss goodnight.
But unless I can find a way to go back in time and be white and from a wealthy family I can only dream.

Hashtag get over it

Never even called it home.

After spending about a month away from my parents I have moved back in for about three weeks. Three extremely long weeks. I thought moving back in wouldn't be that bad, except I forgot that I can't stand my family and all my friends are still away at college. I have spent the last five days laying on my bed and browsing the Internet looking for a way out of the house.
But the worst part about being home is that I don't know how to act around my family anymore. The clothes that I would usually wear while lounging around or going out are a complete no no now. I'm afraid to even wear my ear cuff because I'm trying to get in and out of this hell mouth as easily as possible.
Now that I'm back I regret ever telling my parents when classes ended.
I was alone back in Daytona but here it's worst; I'm living in a hornets nest.

Hashtag I miss being alone.
Hashtag this is where drugs and alcohol comes in.
Hashtag listening to country music.
Hashtag sad...

Living Space

So I visited my school yesterday and went apartment hunting ! :D I loved it, it was so exciting to be there my mom kept telling me that she wants to go back to school because it feels so cool to be in a college again. lol . I really learned the expenses of LIFE ... uhhhh apartments are expensive as sin ! I was looking for apartments with $100 a month for rent and everything included, I had the mindset of a crack house I guess ! I didn't know so please excuse my idiot mindset (:  I saw some b-e-a-u-tiful places that were pet friendly(yeee!) and so perffff <3  There was one place where the closet in one of the bedrooms was like Carrie's closet in the first Sex and the City movie (minus the clothes, shoes, and shelves...so just the size). 

my eternal jealousy will live on for this closet ...

My only issue with this type of closet space is that it tempts me to continue to fill it to beautiful potential when I should be on my broke girl college life tip, right?  I apparently have things to worry about like rent, my dog's needs, and my needs to survive and continue proper hygiene so people can still tolerate being next to me.  I know you didn't forget what it was like to stand or sit next to that smelly one or the one who clearly didn't brush their teeth and you see or smell the damage.  My point to this?  I'm excited and .... I'm gona be living in an apartment with one of my closest friends WITHOUT my mother or father... I will get used to this !  So that's kind of it and I'll post pictures soon ! Au revoir :*

 

 

 

          الحب الكبير,
        honey bee

So today marked the second day of my college experience. I'm officially on my own with schooling. No more having my mom stay up late with me to finish those projects that I procrastinated on; No more having her help me brainstorm ideas for research papers. I had 2 of my 3 classes today, and they actually weren't that bad. They were shorter than high school classes for sure! Even though it was only 45 min shorter, it felt like a whole hour. My history teacher has to be the most intimidating teacher I've ever encountered in my life. I was scared she'd see me falling asleep and use her spider arms to shake me awake! Thank God I dropped that class and changed to sociology. My teacher is this little old British guy, he actually sounds like the guy that was Batman’s butler in the dark knight lol. Don’t get me started on my math teacher, he's so old and the class is super easy. I still don’t know how I got stuck in this intermediate math class. I'm not a good test taker. Yep that's what it is. Besides all of that negativity, I'm finished with my classes early (12:15 MWF & 1:45 TR) thank god! If I had these super late classes like everyone else, I think I’d die. Well here’s my schedule, let’s see how long I can deal with it before I go crazy.

College

I survived! Last week was my first week as a born again freshman. I actually enjoyed it. Besides almost having a stroke everyday because of this 97 + degree weather, all of these hills, and the three days of rain at the beginning of the week. I definitely have to invest in some rainboots and a poncho! I thought miami had bipolar weather, apparently not. The people are really nice here, that's a plus. And don't get me started on the guys, they are so fine! Hahaha and the white boys here in the clubs here really love black girls, it's like we're so exotic! They come up behind my friends and I and just start dancing. I'm just like ayyyyy! Cause we all know how I feel about my white boys lol. But it really is nice up here when it isnt raining or extremly hot. I've also met alot of nice people. A friend of mine told me that friends in college really are a dime a dozen here. Something can happen with your old friend, but it'll be okay since you have a bunch more. Don't you agree? Food for thought.

Love always,

Deebayyy