Life and it's shitballs

So I'm at a real cross roads that will literally decide a huge chunk of my life and I don't know where to go! I'm ready to take the road less traveled but I don't even know where to take it to! I'm ok and have come to terms with not going to college but I need a plan and a passion to follow. I admire those with a fiery, burning passion that drives them to fulfill their dreams and not look up until things are happening. I had to be honest with myself today, I don't know about this pediatric oncologist dream of mine. It was beautiful but for who? I honestly can't stand knowing that babies can develop cancer, wow. I want to help it but will I enjoy the road to get there and ever after? I'm not up for $200,000 of debt with no guarantee of a job or satisfaction. 

That's been worrying me these days because I know someone who is slowly dying, he will die and he actually has a timeline of his life. Can you even fathom that? It's crazy, like I can't even understand it. What I do understand is that when I'm dead, I don't give a rat's ass if my eulogy is  about where I went to school and how important my job was, I want people to know that I thoroughly lived my life doing what I loved because I pursued my passion. Problem is, I don't think I am passionate about much and it really makes me sad. What kind of human being am I that I don't yearn for something important and relevant? All I could muster up was travel and culture. I do love those things but what am I supposed to be? A professional traveler? That's not a job and that paycheck is looking blank as fuck. So, WHAT NOW? I have all of the answers I've been looking for about school and what that academic path looks like, but I don't know if I want to take it anymore. Would I want to live among locals in different countries soaking up life with regular people and different struggles? yes. 

How honest are you being with yourself these days? I know I'm not even though I thought I was a born again truther. Life is so simple, all of the things I have and claim to need are so irrelevant and meaningless to me and deep down I know it but the world as I know it is materialistic and awesome at brain washing the young, old, and everyone in between. I would trade up couture for a pair of hiking boots and a plane ticket these days and it makes me realize how quickly my ideas change, but this is as complicated as I want MY life to be! I started getting caught up in titles, money, and pleasing people and acting like I was trying to please myself when I knew deep down it wasn't for me. Pleasure for one's self shouldn't include so much doubt, uncertainty, and reassurance but mine did and I still never felt satisfied. Ask me and I always tell you how much I adore traveling and foreign crafts(and islands). 

How do I know this isn't just a hobby I'm mistaking for a lifelong passion? It's all I can think about all of the time and want to continuously be submerged in something new and exciting. I just don't know how to achieve my dream and survive because as much as I create a perfect world in my head, this one will always need money. I've considered being a writer but it's a lot more work than it seems and I'd have to keep writing and the book would also need to sell. I do love to write, but it seems tricky because it'd have to be about something good and all I know how to write about is the now; I'm a non-fictitious bitch. I really want to ask for help, it's crazy how I don't even know what direction to even walk in. 

What a fucking mess, really. 

Honestly,

  Bee

Gimme Dat Bikkie

Quick write up, I finally tried BIKRAM YOGA!  From the intensity of my first sentence, yes I loved it.  It was hot as shit, I sweat the saltiest sweat that has ever excreted from my pores, I was wetter than a salty ass wet rhino, I stretch sore muscles, and it was an hour and a half, but so perfect. Lemme tell you why it was perfect.  It was a challenge, not unbearable, friendly, and focused.  I didn't feel judged, the instructor helped me when I was lost and it's just such a beneficial activity that I know I will love even more as time progresses.  It's a huge challenge, but a must-try that I recommend.  I took my class in Dubai and I'll continue with that studio since the environment was my type of thing.  Look it up, give it a try, do something different and uncomfortable for once. 

xo 2Wet

Alicia the Goddess

Wow guys, I had the best experience at my first Alicia Keys concert.  Not only is she a phenomenal performer, but she also has one hell of a voice!  I relived part of my lyrical childhood as she sung some classics that made me really happy. I not only had fun, but I had an awesome front pit view and was with my blissfully unaware mother.  No, she didn't really know any songs, but I can tell she enjoyed her music and my god, her beautiful face/body. What made the night even more memorable was that my cousin is one of her dancers so he got my mom and I the tickets and I got to wah him do what he loves. So cool! I'm not really close to him since he's like 6 years older than me and he and my brother really hung out but I decided new day, new leaf. You can't let the past decide every aspect of today, especially when today you are a different version of you compared to the past.  After the show we met up with my cousin in the backstage area and chatted it up and he introduced us to everyone that wasn't in their dressing room!  He works with such nice people, I felt like I was family which is always an awesome feeling to experience from a stranger.  We walked to a nearby hotel as a huge group to get some drinks and talked some more until everyone realized they were late and scurried their artistic asses back to the set.  Unfortunately, they had to catch a 2 am flight to Tokyo and it was 12:30 am, but it was fun and I'm happy we got to talk and hang out even though we basically never do.  

Moral of the story, reconnect with people you never had an issue with and go see Alicia Keys live.

The End

       

Flaws and All

I want to talk about this huge discovery I made tonight, but I'd be lying if I said I actually felt like writing it all out. It's 4:44 a.m. and it just isn't the time to stupidly write out my every thought.  I really just wanted to say this, if there's something that isn't right in your behavior, personality, etc. and are able to accept that it's a fixable flaw, FIX IT!  There are "flaws" and then there are "bitch fix that shit"'s and I have recently accepted that I have a 'bitch fix that shit' and I would love to do nothing more than to attack it from the source because although I do believe that all human beings will die flaw as fuck, better yourself as much as you can.  I'm pretty sure that after I nip this shit in the bud, I'll feel so much different and positive things will come from it, I'm sure.  In my situation, like many others, you have to be able to recognize your psychotic ways because nothing is crazier than making up problems that aren't there, bitch you good.  

According to several articles I did stumble upon, it was mentioned that many issues human beings have derive from the subconscious and the root is something from your childhood because WHAT ISN'T!?  When in doubt, blame your parents because they fucked you up (probably unintentionally of course).  It makes you think about your future children and what they should be exposed to and how much of it and the examples you want to set for them.  I'm not going to lie, I want my child to be perfect, as in an unfucked up subconscious, but I don't know if my husband and I will be together forever and show our kiddies how to treat people and loved ones, I don't even know if my pompous ass will get married.  I do know this, children are not only precious little kidney beans, but they're some of the most important things in the world; LITERALLY.  A child isn't a toy, accessory, tax write off, or a marriage package and I wish people understood that before they created life.  I know 6 girls that either just had a child or are pregnant and I'm not saying I'm Miss Talula or nothin, but the mystic bones are rattling booboo and those innocent babies are in for a hellish ride. Not good at endings, but you were warned.

BYE. 

Thanks Shelly

This poem made me cry.  It's so simple, but so relatable and perfectly put.  If you didn't know, Shel Silverstein is a simple genius and I want to spend a perfect day cuddled up reading his poems.

xo Bee

The Queen Has Returned

I have so many beauty marks upon my body 

some are very hidden & they make me feel naughty,

But when I look up to share my joy 

It's just me, my marks, and my overused toys.

All hail creativity,

   Honey Bee

Day 93- the END

It's my last day in Belgium, it feels so weird.  I think that's why I'm not as excited as I know I want to be, I don't even feel like I'm leaving in a few hours.  I feel like tomorrow's another Belgian day of life in the hell house, but it really isn't.  It was an interesting experience because it was not what I expected at all and although certain things didn't live up to my expectations, they weren't all horrible.  You really do have to try living in another country for a bit, you understand people better you know ... if that's your thing anyways.  I've met so many people and even if I didn't like them all, I have learned something from them and am grateful for the experience.  In conclusion, Belgium is not exactly my cup of tea per say, but it's cool for a few months. As I ironically write this post in bed, I'm listening to the song I am currently obsessing over and have declared my 2013 summer song, "hold on, we're going home" and I'm going home too.  If you're wondering, my faith hasn't restored in drake, but I do feel better about him because you never want to truly give up on the ones you love.  I think that also leads me to say that I think I'm ok with the comunicationless ending to my friendship with Dante, 3 months later I've let it go and it does not hurt like it did on day 1 of my Belgian trip.  Will I still try?  I think so, I'm a woman of my word and I won't my Orlando chapter with trickery since I'm not a bitch because bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.  What will I say?  I feel like Meg from Hercules right now.  Maybe I'll just keep it honest .... like .... what did i do to hurt you so much that you would want to hurt me? Idk, it works for now.  I have to sleep, it's 12:25 am and I have to wake up at 4:50 am :( my mom is actually a horrible flight booker, all of my flights have been early as shit. I take off at 8:30 am and land in Dubai at 8:30 pm. Wish me luck ! 

Future desert beauty,

    Honey bee

PART 2: Day 83

So today we drove about 7 hours to northern France, above Paris if that gives you any location relativity.  The type of house we're in is called a gîte, it's nice and big and pretty. We got here in the afternoon so we relaxed a bit, went to town to walk a little and went back home to eat dinner.  I have my own room again so I'm excited, I like privacy and being able to do main my own space, that's probably really american of me but I can't help it, I've never shared a room and i like things that belong to me.  The kids have become worse if that's possible and I only feel worse for their parents, nothing is pleasant for them... I feel like they literally yell at them and are annoyed every 10 mns if not, more.

They must think the worst of me though because my Belgian mom was talking about how tomorrow we sleep until we aren't tired anymore because she drove all day and is tired and she said maybe until 8 am and her son was like omg mom that's pushing it, why so late!? But then she replied that she's never slept til 8 am so it probably won't happen. Uhhhh, in Bianca's world, 8 am will never catch me riding round and gettin it ... wow, hell no. I love sleeping in, oh yes noon is my bestie. My issue is that I have an issue with being anywhere near early, sometimes when I wake up early i make myself sleep again until its late. Anyways, welcome to Burgogne, France my friends.

Xo hunhun

Day 73- This is ME (no Camp Rock pun intended)

I have been empowered with confidence today girls and girls. I know I'm at the age where I "discover" myself and get to know who it is exactly that I am and it's actually happening. So far, I can say that my name is Bianca and I am an amazing friend, a good hearted person, and I love to write. That feels good to say because I am 100% of that statement. It is who I am and ... It's who I am. "This is who I am" feels good to say, if I were ever in an interview before, I would make up good things about myself to sound better. Not to say that they weren't 100% true but I couldn't give you the same answer every time, but I know can ... like a script because I know these things about myself since they are, after all, true. #ayeeeeeee

Feels good,

    Miss Honey Bee

WOWZAS

I'd like to address a pressing issue that has been really scary these past few months of my stay in Belgium and France. The health of my skin. My skin is so dry, it is LITERALLY the color of the grey stones in the courtyard here in France. Why does my skin hate this weather so much? I'm obviously a woman of the tropics because the level of my laziness is equal to the level of humidity. That's all. I'll take pictures of the crime scene, brace your eyes, my skin is drier than sin.

Day 70-the retired life

You knowwww, it's my 4th day in France and I still like it. I think one thing I can get used to is the food, omg I really want to get used to this! Why is the food so good all of the time though !? Like wow, I get that my Belgian mom was busy/lazy stuck in her slave life, but wow we eat different things for every meal and is all good, not once has one of our meals have been bread and deli meats. As I am writing this, my belly is currently full of this vegetable I don't know the name of, cous cous, beef, cantaloupe, and a milk lemon pie ? That sounds weird but that's the French name. Now the American in me is kicking in and I feel greedy for more of that tart/pie, wow it was crunchy and lemony... everything I look for in a lemon pie. Anyways, as my routine follows, I'm watching the news with the grandies and then we'll watch some movie and then I'll spend my night not sleeping resulting in me watching the only three things I can watch in bed ... Teen wolf, ep. 306, Camp, ep.1, and Please Like Me, ep.1 ..... and I'll watch the  again, a second time for the night. I also won't sleep the rest of the night .. Only in small bits of 45mns after I wake up every hour. Welcome to life in the south of France ... Until Thursday.

Muah! 

Xo honey

Day 67- France livin'

After being in the south of France where everything is peaceful and quiet and solitary, I have to say I'm enjoying myself.  There isn't much to really do, but I'm not bored like I was in Belgium. I guess I was getting tired of my Belgian family seeing as though they got on my nerves and the kids could very much be the devils spawn. One of the kids are here and she's fine, but talks so much ... Like way too much but she isn't mean or bratty, just 9 year old annoying. Life is slow in this part of France, we're up in the mountains and nothing is really around us. It doesn't bother me, it just drives me crazy how close we are to Barcelona and I can't go. I'd love to, Barcelona by the sea ... and me (: another day another dime. I still don't sleep well, so that's annoying, but other than that I'm great.  My mom went to the camel market today, she said that there's even a drive thru to buy a camel! I suppose I'll see for myself soon enough, I will also see why Belgium was so annoying when the rest of them join us in a few days. Another day, another entry ... night guys!

Love, 

  Your French Bee

Wow it's beem a while

No one has posted on here in a minute, I almost forgot about it hahaha. Well to anyone besides my sistas that reads this here's the tea. By December I'm finally going to be at Sophmore status in school so I'm right where I wanted to be at this point, I've moved to a new place, and I'm still unemployed -.-

Besides those things, there still isnt much going on with me lol

tata for now
-Dee

VS Summer Shopping

 

Spent the summer blowing money like I'm Young Money Cash Money.

More like Young Debt No Money. 

Day 65- Let's get down to business

Lately, I've been thinking about men a lot more than I feel like I ever have.  For starters, I see them in a different light, not like a high school lighting, more like real life lighting.  I've never really entertained the idea of dating because I've honestly never been ready, I have had too many problems to jump into something like that. I'm past all of that now, I'm in a different game (if I ever pass GO and collect $200) and I'm still not ready.  Men sort of feel like the devil when he was trying to give Adam and Eve the fruit ... I feel all of the "no's" shouting at my face, but I'm being lured in by accents and bodies and beautiful jaw lines.  I feel like I can't even see past right now and I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I don't love it.  Is the feeling of wanting to complete someone else strong enough to drag your other half all the way to you? I hope it isn't someone I went to high school with and meet in the near future, I went to high school with people I didn't really like ... Including the ones I hung out with (and obviously later decided that I didn't like them, hence the falling of so many of my friendships).  Out of all of these things that I want and hope for, I think I just want knowledge since it's all I can control, it's a realistic aspiration isn't it? I can't make a man do back flips in my direction because I find his face interesting nor can line up perfect candidates and pick out my perfect man and buy a Barbie dream house together because the 80's are over and I'm not Kazam.  I'll just end my whining with a prayer in hopes of good health because if the tables turn the way they always do, then I may have to chase my husband or do something physically demanding and I can't be a limp bitch trying to be physical. 

Sleep loose (because its hot in Belgium),

        Honey B.

p.s. I'm off to France tomorrow, wish me luck ... My Belgian dad doesn't like his in-laws and I trust his judgement. 

Zayn

So Wednesday I was blessed with a four legged friend. His name is Zayn and he is way too energetic for my lazy ass. He wakes me up at 8 AM (when I'm lucky) to go out and use the restroom but we usually end up doing a mix of training, playing fetch and yelling stop. Whatever he's still beyond cute and isn't that all that matters.

Day at the Zoo

Deanna's family and I went to the Zoo today. Super hot but super fun1 (for me).

Update

Heyy to anyone that's reading this besides winnie and bee. Just wanted to say what Ive been up to lately even though it really isn't much of anything haha. Well I finished my second session of school (I was taking math) and I did absolutely great! I ended my class with a 94! Ive never had an A in a math class in all of my years of being in school so I'm super happy.

Also my lucky week started with me getting a call from an employer to come for an interview for a job I applied for 2 weeks ago. Ill keep you guys posted on how that goes.

Tata for nowwww
-dee

Spring Break 13

I know this is mad late but here are some photos and videos from my spring break trip in St. Augustine back in March.

My phone was acting up so none of the videos had noise... or maybe my phone wasnt acting up. Mac Miller & Juicy J does make sense at a St. Patricks Day Parade if you think about it.

#SpringBreak14whereyouat

Vidyyyy Vid

http://youtu.be/iOzfpWkGf0A

You're welcome.

Also, 

Guess who's back?

I got wiffiiiiiiiii.
Now that I have internet at home I will be sure to share all my medicre summer days with yall.
But since it's the first night that I have internet I will be watching TV and fallingf asleep since I am mad tired.

#superrexcited

1 year down!

June 5 made one year since I have been transitioning back to my natural hair y'all! And it was also a year since the 3 of us have graduated from high school but anyways, I cant believe that I have made it this far in my journey. The next step is to figure out what I am going to do with it. Do I keep transitiong a little longer? Or do I just chop off the permed ends now!? I think Im going to wait a little longer and get some braids done.


Thats all folks!
-Dee

Now

permed

Day 17- Can you say VACAY ?

It feels so wonderful being on vacation for real. I think about nothing except for what I want to do next. I can't even recall that feeling of freedom, not even. I'm so happy, I woke up and ate breakfast, worked out like there was no tomorrow, ate lunch outside, read a bit, and took a nap in a lawn chair ... PERFECTION ACTUALLY. I worked out again in the late evening and loved life all the more. I don't have much more to say because I only know how perfect this feels and can't explain it in detail. Enjoy your day (;

Peace, 

   xo Honey chill 

Day 16- the end/beginning

Today was my last day of school in Belgium and I'm quite excited. Don't get me wrong, cool experience and stuff, but I couldn't stand being in school with children again. Wednesdays are only half days in Belgium so school ends at 12 and then my summer felt even more real. I pretty much relaxed and hung out around the house and then obviously was supposed to work out but I got too comfortable and as soon as I noticed ... It was late so I just took a shower and went to sleep. Wednesday was mostly uneventful except for it being my last day of school ... Das it.

Ciao,

  Honeybee

To check out my pictures, go to : myworldonyourscreen.tumblr.com

Day 14- Blahhhh

Today was supposed to be warm and sunny, but it wasn't. Damn the weathermen, damn the hopeful bitches who got overexcited about it being warmer than frigid. I'm freezing, but I had lunch today in the cafeteria for the first time . I just hated how loud it was, but my food was really good. For lunch, you request things you want and in my case, a sandwich,I write down on a sticker what I wanted in my sandwich and they have it ready for me when it's my lunchtime. I had a ham and lettuce/tomato/carrot sandwich on a toasted fresh French baguette and it was the entire baguette so it was filling but I'm not bloated full. People still are looking at me like I'm a fucking alien while I just wana spit out ABG remarks like I'm fucking Santa, but I'm quiet and glare back with my eagle eyes. Nothing special about today ..... I'll exercise today and that's it. I'm also cutting my eating portions down, I'll try to eat by half and when we go grocery shopping again, hopefully I'll have euros to spend on my own little healthy snacks like fruit and veggies 💵 ➡ 💶 ➡🍓🍑🍎🍇🍌 and if you lucky 2 want to know if my ass still hurts ... IT DOES. You would've guessed that I biked on a fuckin boulder or something ! Back at it I will be again 😘

Bisous bisous,

      The Baguette Queen

(p.s. tonight we went out to this grocery store and it was the grand opening so there was a party with wine, beer, and tasty appetizers. really cute stuff, it was just interesting and I had never been to a grand opening party ... Just thought I'd share that)

To check out my pictures, go to myworldonyourscreen.tumblr.com

Day 13- Nivelles

Today we went to Nivelles, this charming area near our house (sort of) and enjoyed the afternoon there. Oh ! I forgot to mention that we start off every Sunday morning eating at about 7:30 am eating fresh croissants, bread, and chocolate croissants🍴🍞🍩 it's magic, honestly. Then, we top it off with hot chocolate to soothe the soul ☕ so back to Nivelles, we went first to this open air flea market which was cool because it was a Belgian flea market/bargain huntery and I like those, but it was a foreign one and I had to give it a try. Nothing really interested me, but I just thought about how cool it was that some of the things being sold were so old, much older than American things, and the family that it belonged to and what their life was like. We didn't stay long, then we went to the park. Lots to describe, but I won't because I don't feel like it, but it was gorgeous, huge paths, lots of people out and there were fishermen around the lake and it was great (forgot to say how awesome the weather was). We came home and the little ones asked me to accompany them on a bike ride ... and I did :( so I'm hurting even more and feel like my ass is bruised (literally) but it was a good exercise. I tried this new yogalates app I found last night, I liked it a lot so I'll probably be doing that too because I love yoga and Pilates is great too so I like yogalates, naturally. I also tried this protective flat twist updo from simplyounique on YouTube .. It came out pretty good for my first time, but I'm not Queen of Flat twists yet so I have to work on that, but I should also work on trying it when I'm not about to sleep and it's late and I'm considering sleeping while standing . Dassss it 😘

Hugs and kisses and croissants, 

   xo   Chunky Honey

To check out my pictures, go to myworldonyourscreen.tumblr.com

Day 12- OMG

Not much to say for my Saturday except for my Belgian papa surprised me with a new mf bike ! Like who does that !? 😍😂👌✊ it made the day perfect ... It was a surprise for ME! He fixed it and put it together and my Belgian brother, papa, and I went on a bike ride. I thought, lets to test the bike out ... It was actually, lets test out Bianca's vagina and see if it has tear ducts so it can cry after we take her on this triathlon. I went uphill, downhill, in potholes, through a parking lot, on 1 1/2 feet wide sidewalks that were uneven, across streets with cars flying down them, and on dirt roads with no borders separating me from the large body of water I could've rolled into. It wasn't fun, but the fact that we did it together was and the fact that they took me on a "child's course" was fun and considerate. Did I mention that a bike ride isn't a casual stroll, but more like final destination : Belgium ? They knew no slow pace, these boys were needing more speed, casually. I tried to explain to them that I was from flat ass Florida, but they just laughed because they thought the route we took was flat. Oh ok, and Ryan Gosling is waiting for me at our summer home in Greece. That's my Saturday and Sunday and Monday ... but only because I'm still sore and it's Monday morning 👎😭 

until the next death race, 

      Miss Equipped 

To check out my pictures, go to myworldonyourscreen.tumblr.com

Day 11- New Châtelet

I saw a different side of town today, rather the town my school is in. During lunch I ate with the same super friendly girls after their midday smoke, but it was off campus. Apparently if you're old enough you can go anywhere and can be trusted enough to return. We went down the street where apparently a lot of kids go and had sandwiches and smoked in this alley where people usually smoke pot at. It was ok I guess, but I'm not into that sort of thing so I smelled like cigarettes. Then I was taken on a walk around the entire town which was nice because it didn't feel like a school girl's lunch at all which must be nice for them. Lunch is also longer and at 1 pm ish so that's also great for them. I was also told that some school girls were talking shit about me when we went to get food, but I thought it was hilarious because ... I don't even know, but it's just funny to know that people love to talk or hate when there is something different in their environment. Friday was long and I worked out again, but a jog this time. It was intimidating at first, running though the streets of Belgium alone and unaware of where tf I was going but my Belgian parents drew me a map and gave me a phone and said I'd be fine. I was and it was good. That's kind of it ... 😗

Au revoir, 

xo   Honey fitness

To check out my pictures, go to myworldonyourscreen.tumblr.com

Day 10- My first real start

Today is the first day of my new workout lifestyle regimen, but I actually mean it. Somehow, it's easy now and I want to do it and I'm not too busy to think about what needs to be done. I felt bad about not starting Monday as the "fresh start" I always seek, but maybe that's my problem ? I keep trying to do things over and over again the same way, but continuing to fall short of my goals. I wasn't even really gona do anything today, but something kick started inside of me and made me want to do something active even if it was already late. I found this app called butt exercises (something to that effect) and did that. It isn't really Thursday so I am here to say that I was sore from those ten minutes of ass attention I've never had. I feel very proud of myself and I will continue to succeed because I know I'm unhealthy and can be at a better weight and body.

Blessed be thou ass,

    Honey bee

To check my pictures out, go to my new tumblr page: myworldonyourscreen.tumblr.com

Day numba sebennn

After being here one full week, sleeping is easier but then it's not. Lol . I'm only writing about today because it was the warmest it's ever been since I arrived. I ate lunch outside and was reading until curious students invited me to their inner circle on the grass and we spoke a bit. Belgians love them some English ! Probably the way my vaginal cavity melts when I hear Drake's voice is how hysterical they are over me speaking English, it's really a sight to see. We also compared countries and of course they asked me great questions. First facts about Belgium I didn't know... The legal drinking age is 16 for beer (if I remembered correctly) and to smoke I think is also 16. Weed is also pretty legal, but only in a small amount. You can have it and smoke it and enjoy yourself without feeling like you're hiding from the Gestapo, but you can't sell it. Crazy right !? At least for a young woman like myself from Miami where everyone at every party smokes and drinks and loves the thrill of the underage illegalness of being 19. They asked me if I liked Obama, if I own a gun, if I'm scared to go to school because so many people are killing people in schools, and about drinking and smoking. The age of 21 is pretty much huge in America, to think if we were like Belgium in that respect... So anyways, the girl who invited me insisted on us sitting together for every lunch and class and we sat together in the following class. She wrote me notes in English and spoke in English and was actually really well spoken, but she also told me that she was happy to have spoken to me because people were talking badly about me and she didn't like it so she wanted to go to know me better than the others. It's funny how high school never changes .... It's funny how i still hate it for one of the same reasons, children are annoying and foolish enough for me to kick in the face every single day. 

After all of that I'm gonna stop my post but à demain sweethearts !

Baiiiiiiii,

      Lead Pussy Cat (Nicole scherzinger

Day 6- Chillorama

Today was an easy-going day just relaxing or at least that's how it goes in this household. Although I was awaken at 7 am, I ate well. This family's Sunday tradition is that Sunday mornings they eat breakfast together...their breakfast is your typical euro-French breakfast including chocolate croissants, sweet croissants, regular croissants, and these little round breads that translate to a handgun. OH! and hotchocolate (: after we all finished eating I went to my room and fell fast asleep. I pretty much did nothing today except for spend a few hours washing my lovely afrolicious hair and twisting it up in hopes of a lovely twist out Monday morning. Washing natural hair, in my opinion, seems like a love/hate thing because it takes so long me uses so much of my energy, BUT I love it when my hair is nice and clean and looks healthy. Omg my hair was looking devilishly dingy and I was too tired to do much last week. I'm also gona do my nails because they look like caca already, but that's Bianca being Bianca. That's kind of it ... I'll post my twist out results and we also ate a yummy dinner so I can post those pics too. Kbyeeeeee :*

Mrs. Lovalova

Day 5- Fun.

Today was pretty great. It's my first Saturday here and I can't say that I wasn't waiting for the weekend. I woke up later than I usually do which was nice, I had a yummy Belgian lunch, I went to a mall, but the best part about it was getting there since we drove through the countryside. I took some nice pictures while driving, we went to a modern farm and picked up some Belgian strawberries (yummers), and then had a good dinner and ate strawberries for dessert. I'm contemplating working out after this ... I really should too. I spent too much on cute work out gear to let them sit in the bottom of my suitcase :( otherwise, it's still cold over here in Belgium, but I still like being here. Maybe I'm just getting over it because it's actually not a big deal even though I'd wake up and wanna flip13 tables when it was 60 degrees in Florida.  I remember telling everyone how Orlando was great, but I could no longer stay because I just didn't feel like I was supposed to be there anymore...I was absolutely right. The feeling of being here and starting this new traveler's life is what I kept hearing in my head, but couldn't explain. When you know, you know and people are going to tell you otherwise or not even understand, but it's not for the world to understand you.... I think that callings are for you to pursue and fall in passionate love with and let others see, but I don't think it's ever for an outside understanding. Some just can't see the way your eyes do and when that's accepted, you'll feel so much more support through acceptance. Me? I'm not worried about any of it just because I know how strongly I feel about this all. My mother supports me, as do my 2 sisters so I feel pretty much invincible.         Much of Belgium is powering down now and I will try to too.

Love thy sistahs and thy muva, 

     xo  Honeylucuois

Day 3- Porque Papiiiiiii

What I pretty much want to be known is that I'm still NOT sleeping and it's killing me. Not only am I not adjusting to the time but I'm also annoyed. I think entirely too much when I'm spending time trying to mystically be tired. I keep going back to the same miserable thoughts that have followed me overseas. They make me way too sad and pensive for 2am when I have school in the morning. On a side note, I didn't go to school today. We were on our way out and long story short, I chose to stay home with Aurelia ( one of the children of the house that I'm at now) because she's sick. It was a relaxing day.  I helped her with homework, we watched tv, I got some educational games for her on my iPad and we played together, and I saw a hail storm for the first time. It's so interesting watching ice fall from the sky because I'm only used to it falling out of a freezer and into a cup. It was also really cold today, about 44 degrees F so that's also different for me to experience during the summer. Anyways, I'm gona get back to trying to fall asleep by playing a bit of angry birds and maybe a little of my new book I just started (the Paris wife). For all 1 to 2 of you out there, I just thought that you should know that I miss Dante a lot and I am learning to be ok with a different life without him.

Less is less,  

      Frozen toes

How-to Guide

I've created an extremely short how-to guide and I believe that if I am able to ever follow it, I will definitely not think about so many hurtful things so often. Simply put, cry. C-R-Y, cry cry cry. That's it. But then it's obviously not because I don't now how to really cry and when I do, I literally stop myself without knowing that I'm gona do that and then I am where I am tonight...or early this morning, however 2:53 am is best described. I want to make things better, but I don't know how to fix the broken toys that I clearly haven't learned to play with properly. I have to find refuge in sleep for sensible reasons like 7 am, but if you want to know how my story ends...no, I barely cried and yes (: I just finished reading perks of being a wallflower and then watched the movie right after and loved it tremendously. 

Happy 2:58 am Belgium, 

         xo bb queen

Day 1- Took EM out to Belgium, Welcomeeeee

Wow, I hate high school. I had the opportunity to go back to not only high school, but also middle school with Belgian kids. It's different, but it seems like kids are kids. There are obvious differences, but I sat in this one middle school class and felt like I was going back as I observed the kids and could match them up with someone i knew once a pon a time. In this one class the kids had the opportunity to ask me questions and they killed me with what they thought America was like, let alone Miami, Florida. I don't remember all of the questions, but they wanted to know if I had a mansion, if I was rich, do I see stars all of the time, obesity questions...really hilarious stuff. I would've never guessed they thought that way, but apparently America is amazing to Belgian kids. I only went to like 2 classes because I have a fixed schedule so I don't really have 7 dragging hours of school so it's cool. I come, go to a few classes and leave when my school day is done. That was today and if something different happens tomorrow then ... A demain mes amis!

You know ittttttt, 

    xo   Frozen Honey

P.s. did I mention that I'm freezing my tatas off !? The idea of cold is cute, but it's rainy and gray all day and cold... #thecoldtruth

Day 0- Traveling Woes

Traveling is my hobby, I adore it. The actual act of the travel SUCKS. Wana know how much I hate it ??? Well I'll make a list !

1. Airport lines, HATE EM 

2. Rude airport patrons who think they run shit

3. Baggage weight limits, kiss mi rass

4. Sitting in economy seats, fuck dat! I've been in 1st class before so I have a reason to hate sitting with annoying babies and annoying girls who want to trade seats

5. Airport food, I should've just taken out a second mortgage to afford it

6. The heat up in Chicago's O'Hare airport , whiiiiiiiii !?

7. Not being able to fall asleep during the flight, lawd take me nowwww

8. The entire plane needing to use the bathroom at the same time and I'm in the last seat of the airplane so I get to joyously meet them ALL

9. Layovers, they can go share a jail cell with chief keef for all I care

And to end this perfect list, I say I hate .....

10. LINES; oh hell yes it made my list twice. While you're waiting, you're never empty handed , you're never in a room full of polite strangers, and you just might meet an employee who seems to hate life itself.

Otherwise, traveling is really tons of fun and I think everyone should explore new lands and try everything...unless you get sick. Lol. Different story (;

Good evening

xo B. Swizzle

I whip my hair back and forth!

Okay guys, so I decided to straighten my hair since I havent in a while. Ive really been trying not to and Ive been quite successful in that. I took a before photo with it just blow dried and an after one of it straightened.

WARNING! I might scare y'all with the first pic of my hair so I warned you lol and the quality of them isnt that good because my webcam kinda sucks but idc idc.

-Dee

11 months!!

I got some exciting news for y'all. I've been transitioning for 11 months today! Just thought I'd share how my journey to natural hair is going.

I would post a photo but see what had happened was I decided to deep condition my hair and unless you want to see me in a plastic cap then yeah its not gonna happen. I plan on straightening it tmrw so I'll most likely post a picture then.

-Dee

The Results Are In!

I finally got my grades back for my two classes this session and I am glad to say that I got an A in both!! Im really happy that I earned the grades that I did because I  worked very hard.

I really think leaving Florida State was the best decision that I could have made. I really proved to myself that once I set my mind to achieving something, I could really do it. And I know that all of the support that I have from my family and these two ladies also pushed me to be the best that I can be.

This session Im taking math, lets all take a moment to pray that the lord is on my side in this class because Im really going to need it!



- Dee

I'm freee!

Yesterday I finished my one and only final so that means I am officially done with my first session! Now its time to just sit back and wait until the grades come out to see how i did.

Just wanna say good luck to any of you reading this who have finals this week and next!

peace out
-Dee

it's week 7 ya bish!

I made it y'all. I survived through my first session of online classes. This is my last real week of doing graded discussions and assignments. Next week I have one final and a power point project due and I am free! Well I only have a week off so its not like I get to see anyone because all other universities have finals the week I'm off so yeah. Then I start class again on May 6 and I'm taking math -____- I am really going to need jesus on my side during this course.

Well just wanted to let you all know how I was doing.

tata for now!
-Dee

4A

Been shopping quiet a bit

This was a spur of the moment thing. Like I didnt even try pretending that I was going to attempt to edit it. The music is from WOLF, Tyler the Creators new album. Been listening to it nonstop for the past couple of days.

I need motivation and acceptance

Wow!! How long has it been since I've been on this shit?
I have come to another realization, (it's the same one over and over again) I'M SO UNMOTIVATED TO DO ANYTHING. This AFTERNOON, I woke up at 3:36 and ate two cupcakes (which used to be part of a family of six). I felt like I was in an indie movie where everything was going wrong and these cupcakes tasting good were the only thing that kept me living. Yes!!! I had become every sad unmotivated heart broken bombshell in the making from every chick flick put together. I looked at my room and the cupcakes and then my life. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!? When did I become the movie girl? When did I start going to parties to get fucked up and fucked? When did I start being the girl who cries about some guy that has no relevance in my life in the bathroom while everyone tries to help me to the car? When did I start drunkenly confessing a love that was never there nor will ever be there over the phone? And when did I start getting so emotional during Romantic Comedies? Something is wrong and I need to fix it. I don't know if I just need to give myself a pep talk or run until my legs fall off but something inside of me just is working the way it used to.
This week was one of my worst school weeks ever. I have been skipping speech class to sleep, not doing homework and barely caring about math. My room is a disaster, I have shopping bags and shoe boxes and clothes everywhere! I care enoigh to notice but not enought to do anything.
All I can think about is summer coming so I can go home and maybe start over. But the one thing I cant seem to settle on is how do things get better when everyone around me is turning to shiticle. This one has school to worry about and the other one is consumed by her new life and her next life and I'm starting to think that soon I'm going to end up being a friend from her last life. The friends I made here weren't meant to last and crying has become a full time job. I miss Miami but I don't miss my house which I'm still trying to figure out if I want to live in. A year from now I may not even be able to recognize myself and my situation with all the changes. I hope I'm one of the good indie movies with a super cheesy ending where I walk into the sunset with everyone knowing that I'm happy and my life is going to be great.

hash tag maybe I'm looking too hard for something that isn't there

Well Hello :*

I feel like last week was Spring Break, the first few days of March... when in actuality, it's pretty much the end of March !  How are there 11 days left of March... where is my life going ?  How does it all move in hyper-speed even when you are looking ?  Even scarier/thrilling, only 60 days left until I'll be in Belgium according to my mom's online countdown he made me.  Only 58 true days left of this American life with my 2 chums ay ?? Who am I to ignore these beautiful freedoms and lifestyle I have been given ?!  I feel a challenge coming on (:  I can try to agree to take on a photo challenge .... one photo a day until Sunday, May 21st, 2013 ... when I leave for Belgium. Oh yea, I'M LEAVING FOR BELGIUM Y'ALL !!!!!  Starting today March 20th, I will take one picture and so on until I reach my day of departure because I still seem to take the things I love and enjoy for granted.  Everything that I'll capture will be pieces to the story of my life as of a few years ago (minus my mom, won't see her for a few more months).  What will I capture exactly?  Maybe my fave spot in south FL. and where I take Hercules for a walk in Orlando and my cousin's house and Blackpoint and even my cousins and maybe me cleaning my room because that's just a fact of my life.  I think I'm ready for these next 2 months.  No matter where I am in the world though, you bet your ass I'll be faithful to this blog and my secret society sisterhood.

xoxo Buhhhdonka

1 week down, 7 more to go

I made it through my first week of classes y'all. Well its not my first time obviously but my first time doing online classes. Anyways, this first 8 week session, I'm taking two classes, critical thinking and a computer class. I can already tell that this computer class is really going to work all of my nerves but I know I can get through it.

Just wanted to give an update to whoever has been keeping up with me besides Windel and Bianca. So here it is!

dueces,

deebayy

Wedding pictues

Sharina and Antonio's wedding was very nice this weekend. Sharina had told me that she hadn't invited many people, and it was true. The ceremony was very intimate and the closest friends and family were there. The ceremony was supposed to start at 2pm but of course because it was Sharina it didnt start unitl about 245 lol.

I promised you guys some photos so here they are. I thought I'd have one of me to post but I actually did not take any photos -.-

My friends Selin, Mateo, and Alex

Sharina and her Mom & Dad

Bride and Groom

Antonio's friend putting the garter on him blindfolded lol