I can hear the bells (total Hairspray reference)

A close friend of mine is contemplating marriage with this guy she's dating. Crazy right? Well not that part...

Long story short: they were cool friends and then they fell for each other and so now they decided to date. 

Here's what's crazy to me, it's marriage! I feel like I'm stuck somewhere between Peter Pan and a new-age hippie. Positives before the negatives: umm, I just came from Indonesia and next week I'm probably going to Bahrian, Qatar, or Oman and if we're lucky, Jordan. It's looking a lot like we're hitting the African continent by the end of the year, now Kenya and Tanzania are in the running with South Africa. I know what I want to be when I grow up, if I ever do. My job is stressful, but I sincerely love the kids I take care of. 

Now I'm not trying to dump on myself, but to think of marriage is insane because I'm 95% sure I can't talk to a man seriously these days. I have one male friend and an acquaintance and I'm myself, but under the circumstances.... Oh gosh, I don't even know. 

I feel like such an absolute mess and I'm almost sure that I am. There are so few questions that I can answer definitively about my life, I get so stressed out just thinking about making a commitment to a man because I can't see myself dating for fun. 

Might I have a mental condition? I would not doubt it TBH. 

What my friend has with this guy is electrifying and magnetic and miraculous and I am so happy for her. If you knew, you'd know how much she deserves this and how it's a beautiful act of God. I just want to know where I stand as a female....with (viable) eggs....and a poetic mind....and a sarcastic, yet kind heart.

Let that marinate my brothers and sisters (pero, probably only sisters). 

Deuces,

Unwed Bee

The Lego Movie

What is it like to believe in yourself? Are you supposed to feel it coursing through your veins? Does it tingle? What's the catalyst that turns it on? Does something go right for you to begin believing in yourself? I don't think I believe in myself. It's really a fantastic concept, but it isn't my reality. Now I don't believe in predictions or definite plans, not anymore I don't. Even if someone gets it "wrong", it's still possible to believe....I think. Is focus necessary? I feel like it is, like you need to focus on one thing and pour your self belief into it until it grows and flourishes. I don't think I've ever made anything flourish. It's kind of sad to think about. You wana know what I believe? I believe that I am alive, I live in Abu Dhabi, I am a babysitter, and I believe that I am 20 years and 7 months old. It's currently 11:49 pm, I'm sitting at a messy dinner table, across from me is a red high chair and there's a sleeping child on the couch and I just wana know how the hell did I get here? How did I become this woman? Sometimes I just daydream about walking Hercules in safe Pembroke Pines late at night when nobody's out and there's a light breeze blowing and I'm just in absolute awe of the stars and my miracle dog. 

I jump subjects quicker than quick. Affirmations. Meditation. I'm tempted..... Well, I've tried meditation once. Guys, it's hard.

Maybe the second step to self improvement is to believe what you want to change first and others will take notice later on and bam! that's it! Right? 

I'm a mental mess these days. I'm usually ok because I'm so busy, but today I have time to think about the mess I've made out of my life. I don't know if I'm being positively reflective or negatively depressing (wow, depression isn't positive). 

I'm going to start with affirmations about believing in myself. 

Cheers (but not alcohol bc UAE),

Honey Bee

The Asian Experience 2014

I'm terribly late, but I'm back from my Asian experience! To keep this short and sweet, it was the best vacation/trip I have ever been on and that's saying something because I've been around. Indonesia is exciting, bright, happy, full of activity, and beautiful. I have achieved my most perfect tan, I have never looked more beautiful after those 2 weeks of skr8 heat. As a short recap, my mom and I rode an elephant, fed elephants, went white water rafting, dove 4 different times at 4 different dive spots, I'm scuba certified again y'all, we went to 2 other islands, sun bathed hullo, hiked a volcano at 3 am to watch the sun rise at 6 am, played with rescue sea turtles, did so much shopping because Indonesia is CHEAP, had a gorgeous sunset dinner, and visited a lot of different areas in Bali via private taxi. Without a doubt I'd recommend this trip to everyone I know! Some of the activities aren't for the faint hearted, but you can still really enjoy yourself without doing all of the physically demanding things my mom and I did. I'll post a few pictures, but all of my pictures are up on my other blog soooo check that out! I also made a video, it's my first time filming with the camera that I used so if you do watch, bear with me. I'll get better. I apologize in advance for the motion sickness you may feel from my shakiness. My b. 

Stay adventurous my friends.

XO,

Travel Bee