A close friend of mine is contemplating marriage with this guy she's dating. Crazy right? Well not that part...
Long story short: they were cool friends and then they fell for each other and so now they decided to date.
Here's what's crazy to me, it's marriage! I feel like I'm stuck somewhere between Peter Pan and a new-age hippie. Positives before the negatives: umm, I just came from Indonesia and next week I'm probably going to Bahrian, Qatar, or Oman and if we're lucky, Jordan. It's looking a lot like we're hitting the African continent by the end of the year, now Kenya and Tanzania are in the running with South Africa. I know what I want to be when I grow up, if I ever do. My job is stressful, but I sincerely love the kids I take care of.
Now I'm not trying to dump on myself, but to think of marriage is insane because I'm 95% sure I can't talk to a man seriously these days. I have one male friend and an acquaintance and I'm myself, but under the circumstances.... Oh gosh, I don't even know.
I feel like such an absolute mess and I'm almost sure that I am. There are so few questions that I can answer definitively about my life, I get so stressed out just thinking about making a commitment to a man because I can't see myself dating for fun.
Might I have a mental condition? I would not doubt it TBH.
What my friend has with this guy is electrifying and magnetic and miraculous and I am so happy for her. If you knew, you'd know how much she deserves this and how it's a beautiful act of God. I just want to know where I stand as a female....with (viable) eggs....and a poetic mind....and a sarcastic, yet kind heart.
Let that marinate my brothers and sisters (pero, probably only sisters).
Deuces,
Unwed Bee
