I need motivation and acceptance

Wow!! How long has it been since I've been on this shit?
I have come to another realization, (it's the same one over and over again) I'M SO UNMOTIVATED TO DO ANYTHING. This AFTERNOON, I woke up at 3:36 and ate two cupcakes (which used to be part of a family of six). I felt like I was in an indie movie where everything was going wrong and these cupcakes tasting good were the only thing that kept me living. Yes!!! I had become every sad unmotivated heart broken bombshell in the making from every chick flick put together. I looked at my room and the cupcakes and then my life. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!? When did I become the movie girl? When did I start going to parties to get fucked up and fucked? When did I start being the girl who cries about some guy that has no relevance in my life in the bathroom while everyone tries to help me to the car? When did I start drunkenly confessing a love that was never there nor will ever be there over the phone? And when did I start getting so emotional during Romantic Comedies? Something is wrong and I need to fix it. I don't know if I just need to give myself a pep talk or run until my legs fall off but something inside of me just is working the way it used to.
This week was one of my worst school weeks ever. I have been skipping speech class to sleep, not doing homework and barely caring about math. My room is a disaster, I have shopping bags and shoe boxes and clothes everywhere! I care enoigh to notice but not enought to do anything.
All I can think about is summer coming so I can go home and maybe start over. But the one thing I cant seem to settle on is how do things get better when everyone around me is turning to shiticle. This one has school to worry about and the other one is consumed by her new life and her next life and I'm starting to think that soon I'm going to end up being a friend from her last life. The friends I made here weren't meant to last and crying has become a full time job. I miss Miami but I don't miss my house which I'm still trying to figure out if I want to live in. A year from now I may not even be able to recognize myself and my situation with all the changes. I hope I'm one of the good indie movies with a super cheesy ending where I walk into the sunset with everyone knowing that I'm happy and my life is going to be great.

hash tag maybe I'm looking too hard for something that isn't there

Well Hello :*

I feel like last week was Spring Break, the first few days of March... when in actuality, it's pretty much the end of March !  How are there 11 days left of March... where is my life going ?  How does it all move in hyper-speed even when you are looking ?  Even scarier/thrilling, only 60 days left until I'll be in Belgium according to my mom's online countdown he made me.  Only 58 true days left of this American life with my 2 chums ay ?? Who am I to ignore these beautiful freedoms and lifestyle I have been given ?!  I feel a challenge coming on (:  I can try to agree to take on a photo challenge .... one photo a day until Sunday, May 21st, 2013 ... when I leave for Belgium. Oh yea, I'M LEAVING FOR BELGIUM Y'ALL !!!!!  Starting today March 20th, I will take one picture and so on until I reach my day of departure because I still seem to take the things I love and enjoy for granted.  Everything that I'll capture will be pieces to the story of my life as of a few years ago (minus my mom, won't see her for a few more months).  What will I capture exactly?  Maybe my fave spot in south FL. and where I take Hercules for a walk in Orlando and my cousin's house and Blackpoint and even my cousins and maybe me cleaning my room because that's just a fact of my life.  I think I'm ready for these next 2 months.  No matter where I am in the world though, you bet your ass I'll be faithful to this blog and my secret society sisterhood.

xoxo Buhhhdonka

1 week down, 7 more to go

I made it through my first week of classes y'all. Well its not my first time obviously but my first time doing online classes. Anyways, this first 8 week session, I'm taking two classes, critical thinking and a computer class. I can already tell that this computer class is really going to work all of my nerves but I know I can get through it.

Just wanted to give an update to whoever has been keeping up with me besides Windel and Bianca. So here it is!

dueces,

deebayy

Wedding pictues

Sharina and Antonio's wedding was very nice this weekend. Sharina had told me that she hadn't invited many people, and it was true. The ceremony was very intimate and the closest friends and family were there. The ceremony was supposed to start at 2pm but of course because it was Sharina it didnt start unitl about 245 lol.

I promised you guys some photos so here they are. I thought I'd have one of me to post but I actually did not take any photos -.-

My friends Selin, Mateo, and Alex

Sharina and her Mom & Dad

Bride and Groom

Antonio's friend putting the garter on him blindfolded lol

the wedding bells are ringing y'all

So 2 days ago a girl that I've been friends with since the 5th grade sent me a text telling me that she was getting married this sunday and that she wanted me to be there. I never thought that I'd be going to a friends wedding this soon but hey, I guess it can happen.

I remember in middle school when my friend and two of our other close friends would joke about which one of us we thought was going to get married first and I knew I was right when I said her lol.

I just hope everything runs smoothly and we dont have any problems because I really dont want to have to put anyone on worldstar. Ill post pictures from the wedding either when I get home on sunday or monday the latest.

your royal thickness,

deebayyy

A little California in Florida

OH MY GOSHHHHH, what a great Saturday I had!  I really love my little Saturday getaways, especially when I go with Hercules.  This Saturday consisted of me falling in love with this little kitchen called California Tacos To Go from my favorite Food Network show, Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives.  It's in Tampa, so it was about an hour and a half drive and then I figured that it only made sense to stay there the entire day, so we also hit up this dog beach nearby.  I got this California burrito, it was AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGG.  At first, I wasn't thrilled when the charming homosexual man who took my order heard me wrong and loaded up my burrito with sour cream and guacamole and errrthang, but then he gladly took it back and gave me a new one except for...it had cheese in it.  I just sucked it up to avoid being a world-class ass.  The cheese in there wasn't bad at all, but it was too rich for my liking.  I think my favorite part about it was the french fries they put inside and there was so much flavor, wowza; t'was a kick ass burrito. It was a strictly outdoor eatery so Herc and I sat outside and I gave him a cup of water while I chowed down.

Then the dog beach, how cute.  I love the concept to begin with, but I think I loved it so much because the weather was extremely gloomy and nobody was even really out there.. maybe 2 families?  and the actual beach/sand was like 1 foot, then there was a lot of grass and stuff.  I didn't mind because I didn't expect much from a Tampa "beach".  It felt so relaxing and I let Hercules run and he sprinted and had so much joy in his heart, it made me so happy.  I felt truly relaxed.  Anyways, I had a great Saturday and I took some pictures of our mini roadtrip, enjoy if it's your thing. lol

ready to head out...late

peek-a-boo

we love roadtips, cars, and windows !

how could you not fall in love with this sweetheart ?!

And I was never hungry again

his cup of water

good food, good people

the UK or Tampa ?

never been to a beach with more grass than sand

foggy ass Tampa

my frizzy beach hair and his sandy paws

This place is worth the trip if you ever find yourself in the Central Florida or West Florida area !  Farewell sweet children of the Earth (:
  -ya highness, honey suckle

One Direction Sundaysss

It's Sunday! Sunday! SUNDAYYY!!!
Which means it's time for me to catch up on all the work I had been putting off on all week. Oh, online classes, how I do love thee. During the week I'm sleeping, chilling or at work and on Saturday I chill even more and on Sunday I do what any elite procrastinator would do... Turn in mediocre work for elite grades (duh).
Thanks to Harry, Zayn, Louis, Liam and Niall (<3) I can have some sort of fun while doing all these mundane but necessary tasks. Currently I'm on Spotify listening to a playlist that contains their debut album Up All Night, their sophmore album Take Me Home and features their single for Red Nose, One Way Or Another (Teenage Kicks).
Whats on todays to do list you ask??

1. Nutrition
1. Read Ch. 6 & 8
2. Do Discussions
2. FIU- Honors Application
1. Outline Essay
2. Complete Education Resume
3. Religions
1. Discussion Boards
2. Spiritual Discipline Paper
4. Wash Hair
5. Clean Room

I highly doubt I'll clean my room but it was worth adding to the list.
Well this was a cute break. Time to get back to work seeing as how the day is almost over and I havent completed a single one of those tasks.

hash tag 1D forever
hash tag Niall is definitly mine
hash tag Miami Bound