I finally understand how important finding yourself is and why it should be done alone and not while you're investing yourself in someone else. What it is to be young, to have the actual time to please your soul, strengthen your faith, feed your happiness and so much more. I would've never gotten this far if it hadn't of been for my need of self discovery and my detachment to men. How can I possibly ask someone to accept me and love me for who I am when I'm not even half way there myself? Love is beautiful and to witness it in different forms is memorizing and tempting, but who is a troubled soul to search for things to complete itself when it's solitude that it requires? If you can't learn to please yourself, how will you know what you love and can appreciate when someone else has noticed and would like to do for you? It's troubling to know that people only can appreciate and love things because it has been done for them and not because they've found elements of life that please them, who are when this person is gone and what are those elements to you now?
I'm searching for fulfillment, ultimate satisfaction from every possible aspect that will complete me. I wish to be happy on my own and then happy with someone else. I want to resurrect all of the love that I know is inside of me, stuck under collapsed distress, anger, and lost faith. At the very least, I want to love myself the most (besides you, big G) to give the most of me to others deserving of it because those ready to accept and understand want the entire story and not a few pages from the world's best story. And as overused as this quote may be, it is exactly what I want to close my thoughts with because it is all I want out of humankind:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world"
- Gandhi
xo and a lot of peace,
Bee
And just because it makes me so happy to read a thought of mine from this week happen in someone else's mind:
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others"
- also Gandhi
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