Kai

you're shit.
you're lower then shit. if shit could speak, shit would confront me about comparing itself to you.
today someone asked me if i hate you.
and i looked at you. i thought to myself, how could i ever hate you. after all the mean things you said about me, after all the dirty looks you gave me, the messages you never replied to that i spent so much time mustering up the courage to send you; still not in a million years could i hate you.
even now as i right these angry words about how horrible of a person you are and how you make me feel like cap whenever you walk into a room, i still dont hate you.
i hate myself for not being what you want, for not being able to mesmerize you and keep you the way i had envisioned.
no matter how many angry looks you give me or how many times you call me ugly, it will always be my fault. i will always try to imagine a world where things did workout. a world where we were best friends, and i got to tell you about my day and how crappy it was. a world where nothing but caring gentle words came out of your mouth and i was never anything less than a princess in your eyes.
but now i'm stuck with this shadow of a broken promise. everyone thinks you re so great and that everything you touch is sure to become gold. BUT YOU'RE NOT. you're fake. everything you do just seems like an act. your whole existence can be argued into becoming a flaw. you know what kind of power you hold over people, that's why you talk so little. you don't want your flaws to come out, you don't want that ego of yours to be shown in public.
but even still... I'M WRITING THIS ABOUT YOU. i still cant manage to tell my brain what i can tell the world.
you are shit.
lower than shit.

hash tag nothing