What You Know

Humans really are civilized animals...sometimes.  When an animal in the wild is angry or trying to assert dominance, they attempt to stand taller and, more often than not, use a louder way of communicating.  All I'm really saying here is that if we call ourselves human for a reason, why don't we at least try to mean it a little more?
Speaking of animals, that's something that animals and humans alike need, right?  When you betray the trust of an animal, I don't think they wait for you to prove yourself or win their trust back.  How do you know you can TRULY trust someone?  There's this one situation that I'm pretty skeptical of because my faith in the relationship went
down the drain.  Trust is like a building, in that, it is based on a strong foundation; multiple bricks/multiple moments of trust.  I also want something genuine out of that trust, I hate that I'm constantly questioning how genuine someone is being with me, whether they've got ulterior motives and how that'll come back to bite me in the ass,
especially since a relationship, romantic or not, is a huge investment.  Why is it that people don't understand that?  Like a friendship isn't that serious, that we can basically spin the bottle and whoever it lands on, we call a friend.  I am so not sorry for taking something like that seriously, especially since I'm actually a friend to
those I call one.  It seems simple, if you want to be a friend of mine; ACT LIKE IT.  Friendship is not convenience or timing, it's as if people just don't even know how to be committed on such a simple level. 
I recently questioned a friend of mine and their role in my life and how much less we spoke after my move.  I had to carefully analyze the situation because I didn't want to react before I'd seen the entire chess board, know what I'm up against.  It was basically obvious up until a few weeks ago when I noticed a redeeming quality in him/her
that changed the game completely.  Now I'm a really good savant on almost any situation that someone seeks advice for, I'm just awesome about being keen on details, but I had never met anyone who could do the same.  No offense to anyone who's ever given me advice, but it wasn't doing it for me.  What I got from this friend was raw thought, so
simply put that if I had ever over analyzed that, I'd have to find the equation to kicking myself in the ass.  I never imagined getting a taste of my own medicine, it was enlightening and tasty af. 
The moral of all of this is that your friends are not you, they may be similar to you or share similar qualities and/or interests with you, but chances are, you all don't think the exact same way.  I forget that like all of the time and I wish I didn't because I'd be able to notice and appreciate unique and admirable qualities about people a lot
faster than I currently do.  I do love this friend as I do all of my friends and maybe they are slacking on friend duties, but little things like perfect, life altering advice remind me that they do care and that they don't think like me and remember everything that I do and are the same type of friend that I am.  I think uniquely and specifically
to Bianca, so my friend isn't going to behave the way that I would for that very reason.
If you want to know why my thoughts are all over the place, I don't think I can even answer that tonight, but I can say that the next skill I will begin to master is understanding.  I want to understand people better, what makes them tick.  Understanding is everything and without it, we're stale and robotic.
To know yourself is only half of the battle.
xo Bianca

2014

Yikes, I really meant to post so long ago about the holidays, my trip down, the new year and other memories made in the process, but time escaped me.  As I sit here and shake my ass to Scarred (Uncle Luke) and write this post, I remember the whirlwind of a year I've had and that I actually spent most of it outside of the U.S.  It was one of my best years, 2013 was so happening and life changing for me with me meeting new friends, partying, moving to Belgium, touring France, and moving to the UAE, how do you think I feel?  When I realize how 2013 started and when it did, it has that long time ago/just yesterday effect right?!  What I can say to be true is the fact that each year I learn a larger quantity of life facts and it definitely changes my view on the world. 

2014 opened up a little different compared to previous years, we stayed in on New Years and had a little white wine to preview the smoothness that should be two thousand and fourteen. So far I've seen a change in my spirit, goals, and demeanor.  I've managed to up my testosterone circle from 1.5 to 3.5, but I'm sensing a temporary air.  I also sleep at night, what a fucking accomplishment guys, SERIOUSLY.  I'm going to get back into school after a year(it will be almost a year).  My hair is going to be 2 years old in 5 months and my skin has almost reached the goal I set out in September for my Bianca 2.0 Challenge.  I just got back in the gym and I'm eating better now that I'm back home, so the next phase of my Bianca 2.0 series is my body, stay tuned.

Not gonna lie, 2013 was surprising and different from any year I've ever experienced, but I am so ready.


Cheers,
  Bianca

P.S. There's talks of my mom and I taking a Southeast Asia or Africa trip for 2 weeks, HOLLAAAA!