I need motivation and acceptance

Wow!! How long has it been since I've been on this shit?
I have come to another realization, (it's the same one over and over again) I'M SO UNMOTIVATED TO DO ANYTHING. This AFTERNOON, I woke up at 3:36 and ate two cupcakes (which used to be part of a family of six). I felt like I was in an indie movie where everything was going wrong and these cupcakes tasting good were the only thing that kept me living. Yes!!! I had become every sad unmotivated heart broken bombshell in the making from every chick flick put together. I looked at my room and the cupcakes and then my life. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!? When did I become the movie girl? When did I start going to parties to get fucked up and fucked? When did I start being the girl who cries about some guy that has no relevance in my life in the bathroom while everyone tries to help me to the car? When did I start drunkenly confessing a love that was never there nor will ever be there over the phone? And when did I start getting so emotional during Romantic Comedies? Something is wrong and I need to fix it. I don't know if I just need to give myself a pep talk or run until my legs fall off but something inside of me just is working the way it used to.
This week was one of my worst school weeks ever. I have been skipping speech class to sleep, not doing homework and barely caring about math. My room is a disaster, I have shopping bags and shoe boxes and clothes everywhere! I care enoigh to notice but not enought to do anything.
All I can think about is summer coming so I can go home and maybe start over. But the one thing I cant seem to settle on is how do things get better when everyone around me is turning to shiticle. This one has school to worry about and the other one is consumed by her new life and her next life and I'm starting to think that soon I'm going to end up being a friend from her last life. The friends I made here weren't meant to last and crying has become a full time job. I miss Miami but I don't miss my house which I'm still trying to figure out if I want to live in. A year from now I may not even be able to recognize myself and my situation with all the changes. I hope I'm one of the good indie movies with a super cheesy ending where I walk into the sunset with everyone knowing that I'm happy and my life is going to be great.

hash tag maybe I'm looking too hard for something that isn't there

Well Hello :*

I feel like last week was Spring Break, the first few days of March... when in actuality, it's pretty much the end of March !  How are there 11 days left of March... where is my life going ?  How does it all move in hyper-speed even when you are looking ?  Even scarier/thrilling, only 60 days left until I'll be in Belgium according to my mom's online countdown he made me.  Only 58 true days left of this American life with my 2 chums ay ?? Who am I to ignore these beautiful freedoms and lifestyle I have been given ?!  I feel a challenge coming on (:  I can try to agree to take on a photo challenge .... one photo a day until Sunday, May 21st, 2013 ... when I leave for Belgium. Oh yea, I'M LEAVING FOR BELGIUM Y'ALL !!!!!  Starting today March 20th, I will take one picture and so on until I reach my day of departure because I still seem to take the things I love and enjoy for granted.  Everything that I'll capture will be pieces to the story of my life as of a few years ago (minus my mom, won't see her for a few more months).  What will I capture exactly?  Maybe my fave spot in south FL. and where I take Hercules for a walk in Orlando and my cousin's house and Blackpoint and even my cousins and maybe me cleaning my room because that's just a fact of my life.  I think I'm ready for these next 2 months.  No matter where I am in the world though, you bet your ass I'll be faithful to this blog and my secret society sisterhood.

xoxo Buhhhdonka

1 week down, 7 more to go

I made it through my first week of classes y'all. Well its not my first time obviously but my first time doing online classes. Anyways, this first 8 week session, I'm taking two classes, critical thinking and a computer class. I can already tell that this computer class is really going to work all of my nerves but I know I can get through it.

Just wanted to give an update to whoever has been keeping up with me besides Windel and Bianca. So here it is!

dueces,

deebayy

Wedding pictues

Sharina and Antonio's wedding was very nice this weekend. Sharina had told me that she hadn't invited many people, and it was true. The ceremony was very intimate and the closest friends and family were there. The ceremony was supposed to start at 2pm but of course because it was Sharina it didnt start unitl about 245 lol.

I promised you guys some photos so here they are. I thought I'd have one of me to post but I actually did not take any photos -.-

My friends Selin, Mateo, and Alex

Sharina and her Mom & Dad

Bride and Groom

Antonio's friend putting the garter on him blindfolded lol